Here is a comedy sketch written using (the artist formerly known as) Kanye West’s February 2025 flurry of outrageous tweets. I found those tweets knee-slappingly hilarious. But, unlike the Anti-Defamation-League, I couldn’t take them seriously given their sheer bluntness and outrageousness. Kanye’s brazenness reminded me of the president of the regional government of Valencia, who failed to act effectively during the devastating floods of October 2024 and is pretty grandstanding about it. In this sketch, this Presidente is parodied as “Kañe” and every line the character speaks is a verbatim Kanye tweet.
Aside from satirizing the political handling of the flood, the main goal of this piece is to make you laugh by repurposing written language as spoken language—though most of the comedy comes from the words’ unrelenting swagger.
KAÑE, the president of the Generalitat Valenciana, stands at the window, looking out over the city, holding his phone while taking a selfie. JOANROBERTO, his advisor, storms in, holding a shovel, his boots covered in mud.
JOANROBERTO
(Urgently)
Don Kañe! The south of València is flooded. Paiporta is submerged under 2 meters of water. We need to call for the Military Emergencies Unit right now.
KAÑE
(Looking at his phone, unimpressed)
GOOD MORNING RETARDS.
JOANROBERTO
(Pauses, confused)
What? No, listen—we have people trapped in buildings. The roads are washed out, and we need—
KAÑE
(Interrupting)
I GIVE ORDERS I DONT TAKE ADVICE.
JOANROBERTO
OK then order the emergency services to go there. We don’t have enough hands.
KAÑE
(Shakes head)
WHY DO BROKE NIGGAS TELL ME WHAT TO DO BUT I NEVER TELL THEM NIGGAS WHAT TO DO? IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT BEING BROKE THAT MAKES THEM FEEL POWERFUL?
JOANROBERTO
Don Kañe, you are the president of the Generalitat Valenciana, you're responsible for dealing with natural disasters. There are people drowning!
KAÑE
I DON’T GIVE A FUCK HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU KILLED OR IF YOU WENT TO JAIL. GOING TO JAIL IS A VERY ACHIEVABLE GOAL.
JOANROBERTO
Hopefully nobody is going to jail for this, don Kañe.
(pause)
But you're going to have to explain where the hell you were when the meteorologists and the hydrologists sounded the alarm.
KAÑE
SOMETIMES YOUR GREATEST LIABILITY IS THE WOMEN YOU LOVE
JOANROBERTO
Sure... If we act now we might still be in time to save many people and hopefully nobody will be going to jail. Can you ask the national government to intervene?
KAÑE
IM NOT GONNA DO ALL THIS WORK TO SAY WHAT THE FUCK I WANT AND THEN NOT SAY WHAT THE FUCK I WANT
JOANROBERTO
But we don't have enough resources to deal with this emergency! We have thousands of volunteers waiting for buses in the city of arts and sciences. Can you...
KAÑE
(Interrupting)
IF YOU SEE ANYONE AROUND ME KNOW THAT THEY ARE PROVIDING A SERVICE FRIENDS ARE FOR KIDS
JOANROBERTO
(pointing at a map)
OK I believe that if we send three buses of volunteers to Paiporta and Catarroja we will cover many of the most severely affected areas in this perimeter, can you call the dispatcher at the bus station?
KAÑE
SIMPLE RULE: I ONLY TALK TO PEOPLE WHO LISTEN.
JOANROBERTO
Can you call the dispatcher?
KAÑE
I SAY WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT PUSSIES.
JOANROBERTO
Don Kañe, people are drowning as we speak!
KAÑE
YOU STUPID ASS WOKE PAWNS. I HAVE NO RESPECT OR EMPATHY FOR ANYONE LIVING CAUSE NO ONE LIVING CAN FUCK WITH ME.
JOANROBERTO
(taking a call)
The red cross is asking if there is a designated drop-off point for donated food and water, or if we should set one up?
KAÑE
NO BODY CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO EVERYONE TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO IM NOT HERE TO
RELATE OR GET PEOPLE TO AGREE
JOANROBERTO
Can you please focus. People are panicking because of conflicting information—can we establish a single point of contact for official updates.
KAÑE
i love hitler. now what bitches. let's see if y'all give that money back. im a nazi. i say whatever the fuck i want pussies
JOANROBERTO
Honestly?
KAÑE
HONESTY IS THE STRONGEST FORM OF ENERGY EXCEPT FOR WHEN ITS TIME TO LIE TO YOUR BITCH
JOANROBERTO
Don Kañe, please think of the children. Think of the families who lost everything. Aren't you forgetting what we as valencian government officials stand for? Aren't you forgetting the responsibility that we...?
KAÑE
(interrupting)
I FORGOT TO SAY RETARD
THAT WAS RETARDED OF ME
JOANROBERTO
Don Kañe, do you realise what you're doing??
KAÑE
I TURNED DOWN 3 PHOTOS THIS WEEK WITH MAKE A WISH KIDS IN WHEELCHAIRS
JOANROBERTO
Don Kañe, what the hell are you trying to do?
KAÑE
I AM NOT TRYING TO BE THE VOICE OF BLACK PEOPLE THAT WAS OBAMAS JOB IM GETTING MONEY AND TALKING SHIT ON TWITTER IM EXPRESSING WHAT IVE WENT THROUGH AND THINGS I CARE ABOUT
JOANROBERTO
Why are you doing this? Do you realise lives are at stake?
KAÑE
PARDON ME I MEANT FUUUCK EVERYBODY KEEP BROKE OPINIONS TO A MINIMUM LIKE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
OUANROBERTO
(Takes a deep breath, shaking his head)
OK I'm taking the week off, I'll go help out.
KAÑE
(Chuckles)
YOOOOO, KNOW ONE HAS QUIT SO FAR AND I HAVE A LOT OF GAY PEOPLE THAT WORK FOR ME AND A LOT OF JEWS AND A COUPLE GAY JEWS THAT HAVEN’T REACHED THEIR FULL GAY JEW POTENTIAL IF THEY’RE STILL WORKING FOR ME.
JOANROBERTO
You’re a disgrace.
KAÑE
I TURNED DOWN THREE PHOTOS THIS WEEK
WITH MAKE A WISH KIDS IN WHEELCHAIRS.
JOANROBERTO
(Shakes his head, disgusted.)
I’m done.
KAÑE
CALL ME YAYDOLF YITLER AND YOUR BITCH STILL WANTS TO FUCK
JOANROBERTO
Fuck this job! I'm going to ask to be transferred to a desk in the ayuntamiento.
KAÑE
YOOOOO KNOW ONE HAS QUIT SO FAR AND I HAVE A LOT OF GAY PEOPLE THAT WORK FOR ME AND A LOT OF JEWS AND A COUPLE GAY JEWS THAT HAVENT REACHED THEIR FULL GAY JEW POTENTIAL IF THEYRE STILL WORKING FOR A ME
JOANROBERTO
(Leaving.)
You're gonna go down in history as the most disastrously negligent valencian president.
JOANROBERTO storms off. KAÑE is still glued to his phone.
KAÑE
(To himself)
I’M LETTING EVERYTHING OUT BUT MY TEARS.
JOANROBERTO
How did we ever vote for this?!
KAÑE
YOU NIGGAS SLOW