Chatty Chakras

From the city of Fedfer near the Atlantic ocean, good morning, good evening, wherever you may be, across the nation, around the world. This is Epicenter of Light FM, 107.3, radio for your light and your waves.

I’m Jeffrey John, that’s Jay Oh Hen. And that’s a Hen with a capital “H”, my friends, and this is Chatty Chakras, a place for us to gather together, to join forces, and share loving insights, spiritual experiences, suggest paths to the divine, let’s now chat and open our chakras. We’re grateful to our sponsor, Malone Kitchens: uniquely yours, uniquely cut, uniquely you. Malone brings over 35 years of design experience and creativity to the greater Fedfer area. Our certified master kitchen and bath designers constantly seek influence from classical, transitional, eclectic and Asian palettes. Open every day, on the corner of Tanzelli and 89th. Malone Kitchens: uniquely yours, uniquely cut, uniquely you.

Later on today, investigative reporter Seraphina Coleoni joins us with stories of her explorations of lost civilisations and startling evidence that the truth about humanity’s hidden history… is being suppressed. I’m Jeffrey John, John’s the last name, the H is silent, and Billie Jean’s not my lover.

And we’ll be taking your phone calls all along the programme. All you folks are welcome to join the conversation, the number is 4218-4242. You can also call us on our brand new Skype account, which I created today, and it’s epicenter underscore of underscore light underscore one hundred seven point three. A Skype name that’s as unique, as our style.

Call coming in now, hi, you’re on the air!

“Yes hi, my name’s Steve and I–”

Great afternoon or evening to you Steve, where are you calling us from this morning?


See what I did there?

“Hi, thanks.”

Yes, hi, Steve, you’re on the air. Welcome to Chatty Chakras!

“Thank you brother, all my blessings, all my blessings. I’m calling from Caljun, not far from where you are, and I wanted to ask about best practices for safely practicing crystal healing, looking for someone with the expertise, is Joel around?”

Ah, Joel, yes, so Joel, Steve, is going to be taking a break from Chatty Chakras. We’re looking for a fresher style, you know, and I spoke to Mitchell, the producer, my uncle, big shout out to Mitchell, everybody, and we agreed to let me have the rest of Chatty Chakras this year. We tweeted about this, really. I thought it wouldn’t be helpful to also, you know, shout it out during the opening.

“Joel has been hosting for like five years. He got me into crystals, is he not coming back?”

Not really Steve, but Chatty Chakras is off to a brand new style, trust me, trust us. Jeffrey John, John’s the last name. What wonder would you like to share with us tonight, Stevie…? See what I did there?


Well thanks for your call Stevie. And did you know that placing some purple Quartz in your Svadhishthāna chakra purifies and activates the aura. That’s right. Put that crystal in a pipe and smoke it. The number is 4218-4242, the name’s John, Jeffrey John, John’s the last name. Call us on our Skype, epicenter underscore of underscore light underscore one hundred seven point three. Little innovation of mine, that one. But let’s also hear from you. And from Seraphina, on the line now. Seraphina, can you hear us?

“Hey Mr John!”

Seraphina, my good Seraphina. Let me ask you something.


Seraphina, what is your mission?

“You know, John, I connect dots. Ancient civilisations have left us many, many signs, all over the planet and the galaxy. And basically, the signs tell us what to watch for that begins a final 3-year countdown, and also what would take place in the middle of these years. When we put the puzzle pieces together, we can see, you know, not only a plan for redemption for mankind, it’s also evidence of God’s love for us.”

Ah. Mazing.

“And John I will take the time to go through this evidence with you, to show you where I believe where we’re at in God’s timetable, and if i’m correct, then everything in your life is about to really radically change”


“Within the next three lunar cycles, as I have detailed in my video series, which you can find on YouTube, if you search for SeraphinaPowerThoughts. That’s all one word.”

And it’s all one worrr-lrd too. Thank you Seraphina. Thank you for helping us. Let me thank our sponsors just once more, Malone Kitchens: uniquely yours, uniquely cut, uniquely you. Their designs even won awards from the people from the American Society of Interior Design. And folks, if you know ASID, you know what’s good. Open every Monday to Saturday, on the corner of Tanzelli and 89th. So guys, we need to integrate a balance, and integrate the fragments of self into wholeness. That’s wholeness. With a capital W and H. Not like the silent H in Jeffrey’s John. And here’s our next caller. Hi, you’re on the air!

“Hey Jeffrey, hey Seraphina”

Hi caller, what is your name?

“My name’s Frank.”

Caller? Your voice sounds muffled. Where are you calling us from, Frank?

“My name’s Frank. I’d like to share a story about my path. I started feeling God’s presence in my life when I met my Laura. She was such a beautiful girl, she sang in a choir, I was the sound engineer. I could feel her voice resonate in me and outside of me, and I saw light every time she sang. We got married in 2005, we were together for many years, and… she left me last November.”

Sorry to hear that, Frank. We gather forces of light throughout our life, but their light may not shine forever. Everything happens for a reason.

“Well, now I contracted AIDS, because of a cheese grater. My cheese grater broke last November when I was grating some hard cheese, and that night I hired a prostitute, performed, you know, sexual acts on her, using the finger that I cut myself using that cheese grater.”

…Well I’m.. very, very sorry to hear that, Frank… Very sorry… I’m not sure that a cheese grater…

“Do you know where I bought that cheese grater?”

… I don’t think I…

“I bought it at Malone Kitchens, goddammit! You know, uniquely yours and uniquely cut. Open every day, John, on the corner of eat shit and die, John! I contracted fucking AIDS from a cheese grater!”


“Namaste! This is your host Joel here, spiritual teacher, musician, medium, crystallographer, and best-selling author of The Ins and Outs of the

Jim, can you

Solar Plexus Chakra: Anchoring Heaven on Earth. We’re here gathering the forces of light from the city of Fedfer near the Atlantic ocean,

Jim, cut him off!

good morning, good evening, wherever you may be, across the nation, around the world, stealing my lines, Jeff. And you forgot the date

Steve, where it says “end call”, click there, now

it’s Thursday, we’re moving into the afternoon, I’m strapping all my brother and sister astronauts as we launch and hope that Jeff won’t have the guts to —